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Re: divorce.

Posted by Dayann on July 23, 2001 at 03:15:55:

In Reply to: divorce. posted by Kimberly on July 18, 2001 at 12:23:38:

Even if your husband didn't stay in the E village apt that much, it's still marital property, and until the details of the divorce are finalized, it's still his place, too. Don't change the locks, because that will not make things better, and he can probably claim damages for being locked out of a place that is technically still his own home.

If you have proof that he doesn't use the place as his primary residence, that your name is now the only one on the lease, that you paid the rent/maintenance on the apt. for all these years, then you probably have a good chance of keeping the apartment when the divorce is over. But this is not L&T but a family court thing. See if your lawyer can help you live in the apartment as peacefully as possible. And find out where to send your ex's things, or make arrangements for him to pick them up, this way he has no excuse to break into your house at night.

Not sure what the marital situation is, but if you are battered and the abuse is part of the reason for the messy divorce, or if his harassment is really horrible, you can get an order of protection and that can deter him (at least on paper anyway) from coming into the apartment if it is now your primary residence. Usually if an arrest is made (and you said there was an arrest made for breaking in) and it has to do with abuse or very severe cases of harassment, you can get an order of protection in either criminal or family court a lot easier. Once you have an order of protection, that is a court order from the judge saying your ex can't come within x feet of you, can't call, can't come to your house or your job to harass you, whatever, and if he does he can be held in contempt, which could lead to his arrest.

I have heard of cases where battered women were in the process of leaving/divorcing an abusive spouse and they were able to get the abuser evicted from their apartment, but I am not sure that would apply to you. Please if you know this man really isn't abusing you but is just being a pain, don't ruin things for all those women who really are being harmed -- just find another place to stay until the divorce is settled. You can still drop in every day or every other day to check on the apt. and that way people can't say you are no longer living there.

Maybe you can sell it, find a new place, and split the proceeds 50/50 with your ex. Then everyone wins, yes? (Just a suggestion)

Good luck.

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