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IS ENDING MY LEASE TOO RISKY?

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IS ENDING MY LEASE TOO RISKY?

Postby JanGM » Sun Oct 27, 2002 11:13 pm

If I end my current lease, will I never be able to rent an apartment again?

I'm very seriously afraid of this. My credit is not very good---well actually there's nothing on it---even though I have had a life, jobs, etc. I even have a Visa card, but it's a secured card, and they don't report to the credit bureaus.

I have been turned down for credit a lot.

I'm unemployed right now and live off alimony. My income level substantially covers most rent requirements, but that doens't seem to be as important as credit.

It was very difficult for me to get this apartment, after looking for a long time. I had to do a lot of convincing and pay a hefty agent's fee to do so.

Then I had money saved. Now I don't have any.

I have to leave this apartment I think because of a bad stalking situation, and the only solution seems to be to be somewhere away from him. He is the reason I have no money left, because he intimidates me into giving him a huge chunk of my money constantly. I know all about orders of protection, and they don't do a damn bit of good if someone wants to shoot you as you're leaving your apartment or walking down the street.

By the way, the law does very little. He's been arrested and let go right away so many times because of his pretty boy whitebread looks and boyish charm, it's almost a joke.

Anyway, I feel trapped between putting up with him and being homeless.

I can sublet, but I'm so scared no one will rent me a reasobaly nice apartment (this one is quite nice, although the neighborhood is not perfect).

Why? No job. Bad (non-existant) credit. Plus an old boyfriend of mine living with me at the time, several years ago, took our landlord to court, but everything was in MY name and on MY record. That's another thing landlords check---court records.

What do you do in my position? I really don't know what to do. There must be some solution.
:confused:
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Re: IS ENDING MY LEASE TOO RISKY?

Postby JanGM » Mon Oct 28, 2002 11:06 am

I just want to clarify, I meant I can sublet, but I can't do that indefinitely, and sublets tend to be more expensive too.

I just want my own place, big enough not to go crazy (one bedroom as I have now), in a decent neighborhood. I just want to finally be settled somewhere free from any harassment or stalking or abuse, so I can get on with my life.

But I'm afraid I won't be able to find a "permanent" rental if I leave this place. What do others do in my shoes? Surely, others must be unemployed wth bad credit also (but have a good amount of income). They can't all be homeless.

I have a dog too, which complicates things. :confused:
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Re: IS ENDING MY LEASE TOO RISKY?

Postby MikeW » Mon Oct 28, 2002 2:21 pm

Deal with the stalker. Get the cops involved. Stalking is a crime. So is extortion (which would be the case if he's threatening you get money). Trade in your current dog for a larger, less friendly model. If the circumstances call for it, get, learn how to use, and carry a gun (Legally this is difficult. But having a stalking complaint on record would help). Maybe, get a backbone.

You're pretty correct about one thing. If you give up this apartment, given the circumstances you've described, you'll have a very hard time getting another one in NYC.
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Re: IS ENDING MY LEASE TOO RISKY?

Postby Cranky Tenant » Mon Oct 28, 2002 3:00 pm

If you've already had this guy arrested, why not get a ful order of protection? Then if he tried to contact you, you can have him thrown in jail for violating that order?

It's not a total solution but along with MikeW''s suggestions, it should make your life a little easier.
I'm a cranky tenant NOT a cranky lawyer.
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Re: IS ENDING MY LEASE TOO RISKY?

Postby JanGM » Mon Oct 28, 2002 4:28 pm

<<<MAYBE GET BACKBONE>>>

That is a typical reaction of those who have no understanding of domestic abuse (almost always males, I might add, who have no understanding of what it is like to be in a woman's shoes in this society, nor do they have the SLIGHTEST desire to make an effort to even TRY to imagine it).

Perhaps it's an unconscious wish to perpetuate patriarchy, and to maintain sexist illusions about life. Perhaps it's just lack of knowledge about the subject.

Spend some time on some domestic abuse sites and boards, or around domestic abuse organizations and you'll find out the reality of it. You don't have a clue. This is one of the reasons why domestic abuse and the abuse of women and children continue in our society.

Originally posted by MikeW:
Deal with the stalker. Get the cops involved. Stalking is a crime. So is extortion (which would be the case if he's threatening you get money). Trade in your current dog for a larger, less friendly model. If the circumstances call for it, get, learn how to use, and carry a gun (Legally this is difficult. But having a stalking complaint on record would help). Maybe, get a backbone.

You're pretty correct about one thing. If you give up this apartment, given the circumstances you've described, you'll have a very hard time getting another one in NYC.
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Re: IS ENDING MY LEASE TOO RISKY?

Postby JanGM » Mon Oct 28, 2002 5:29 pm

One more thing.

Why does it seem that our society tells us so much more what we CAN'T do, and very little what we CAN do.

Basically, if you screw up more than a couple of times, that's it, you're out of options. It's unforgiving. The system traps you, and if you don't do it right the first couple of times, game over?

You CAN'T get credit. If you need to FIX that by building credit, you still can't get credit to do that. "Sorry, too late. You should have done it 10 years ago. Game over!"

If you've had problems in your life, you're punished even more by an inability to find the VERY BASICS in life---shelter, a job...

"Sorry, you haven't worked in a few years. No job for you---tough cookies."

So instead of saying NO all the time to people, how about telling them HOW TO FIX IT.

For the first time in my life, I'm beginning to understand the plight of people on welfare, etc. If you're given so little hope, of course you will get depressed. Especially when on top of that you're looked down on because of the situation you're in.

When you're young it's one thing. Society is pretty forgiving of and supportive of the young. But you don't get more than a couple of chances here to get on your feet. (Maybe this is a lesson I needed to learn to be more understanding of the poor.)

So rather than saying you won't get another apartment, how about telling me what my POSITIVE OPTIONS are? Or is our society so degraded now?

I'm beginning to see Capitalism in a completely new light. If I truly have nO POSITIVE OPTIONS in terms of leaving where I am now and finding a new place, then what has our society become? A machine in which "survival of the fittest" in its harshest form is the modus operandi.

Wouldn't our world be happier and less depressed if people were given positive options to FIX THEIR OWN LIVES, instead of "you can't, you can't, you can't"?

It is so easy to feel trapped b your circumstances in this society. It's so easy to get into the traps, but the ways out are barely apparent. Why so negative, American society?

And I thought this was the land of opportunity. Sure, if you follow the rules precisely and exactly from the age of 18 on.

But we're human, not automations. Humans make mistakes. Humans have emotions. The one thing I loved about this country was the sprit that you could always start over and start a new life, at any age.

The atmosphere may be that way, but the realities don't encourage it.
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Re: IS ENDING MY LEASE TOO RISKY?

Postby subcriminal » Tue Oct 29, 2002 1:15 pm

An opinion from a girl who's been in similar shoes:

How about stop acting like the victim? :mad: Stand up for yourself. You are in no postion to move, so get that court order of protection. If you're not willing to take steps with the police to ensure your safety, then you'd better get a sublet. You can get legal representation through the legal aid society if you don't have enough money for a lawyer.

If you can't afford to move, your only choice is to fight. But enough of the "poor me poor me", DO SOMETHING to change your situation. Get that court order of protection, a big mean dog and a gun if you can aquire the license for one.

You're not helpless, so fight damnit. Are you really gonna let some schmuck bully you out of your home and your money? Stake a stand.
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Re: IS ENDING MY LEASE TOO RISKY?

Postby JanGM » Tue Oct 29, 2002 7:11 pm

Thank you. Sometimes when you're completely confused about what to do it paralyses you.

I have to either stay and fight, as you say, or leave. Apparently when you apply for an Order of Protectiom, the judge might summon the person in question to appear in court and explain himself. I dread the idea of him even finding out if I got this.

If he goes to court, it will be a circus, with all kinds of embarrassing false accusations thrown my way (he attacks me with such a variety of really nasty lies about my intentions or things he says I've done---He does that to everyone, I've noticed---blame, blame, blame. According to his version of reality I'm some evil creature---just like his sister and his mother are, according to him).

I have thought of just going out of town for a while and leaving a "Dear John" letter, and seeing if that works (I must have told him every day at least once a day in the last few years that I wanted him to go away and leave me alone---he doesn't hear it).

When I lived with him in MY previous apartment, he refused to move out, and then ended up forcing me to leave because the abuse was so bad. I even continued paying the rent there for a while as it was in my name, even though I was technically homeless.

I finally found my new place and couldn't pay his rent too, but even though the lease there is in my name, I throw up my hands---there's nothing I can do. Besides, he has turned it into an absolutely unlivable pigsty. I certainly don't want it back after all this.

All I can say is---ladies especially---this is NYC. Be careful who you get involved with. There are con artists and parasites out there who are very hard to get away from once they latch on.

Originally posted by Dr. Love:
An opinion from a girl who's been in similar shoes:

How about stop acting like the victim? :mad: Stand up for yourself. You are in no postion to move, so get that court order of protection. If you're not willing to take steps with the police to ensure your safety, then you'd better get a sublet. You can get legal representation through the legal aid society if you don't have enough money for a lawyer.

If you can't afford to move, your only choice is to fight. But enough of the "poor me poor me", DO SOMETHING to change your situation. Get that court order of protection, a big mean dog and a gun if you can aquire the license for one.

You're not helpless, so fight damnit. Are you really gonna let some schmuck bully you out of your home and your money? Stake a stand.
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