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How Do I Get Him Out of My Apartment?

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How Do I Get Him Out of My Apartment?

Postby RebeccaG » Mon Feb 24, 2003 7:05 pm

I allowed my ex-boyfriend to stay at my place (after much pressure on his part) until he can find a place to live. I've lost a lot of money to this guy as his MO seems to be "Im so gorgeous and talented, others should take care of me, besides which I'm adorable and cute and helpless (and 35!)"

The last time I let him live with me we were trying to be a couple, he was very abusive and didn't pay rent, I had to leave, etc.

I told it was over after that, but this guy has no comprehension of the word "no" and has no qualms about applying all the pressure he can (whether threats or charming behavior) until you break from exhaustion and yes, physical illness from the stress of trying to fight him off.

Anyway, he has stayed here less than a month BUT, I just realized he had magazine subscriptions sent here in his name months ago, which he could use in court to make it look like he's been here longer than a month.

I'm having thoughts of getting out and writing the landord that I'm breaking my lease because this guy won't leave, I can live with him, and I'm too ill and busy at this point to go to court and evict him.

I have so many pressures on me right now, I can't deal with any more. When it comes to domestic abuse in New York, you're on your own because you're not protected. The cops do nothing, and the courts let them go.

I've been trying so hard to handle my responsibilities well, but there comes a breaking point where you just want to get te hell out and move overseas or something.
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Re: How Do I Get Him Out of My Apartment?

Postby Chimera » Mon Feb 24, 2003 10:12 pm

If he has been living there for less than 30 days, you can call the police to have him forcibly removed.
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Re: How Do I Get Him Out of My Apartment?

Postby sabrina » Tue Feb 25, 2003 11:10 am

Also file a complaint against him with the police for the abuse. This can help in getting a retraining order. I suggest you call a domestic abuse hotline immedately. They will give you the legal means to get him out of your apartment and your life. This is what my cousin did to distance herself from her abusive husband. Good luck.
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Re: How Do I Get Him Out of My Apartment?

Postby dnsdruidess » Fri Feb 28, 2003 9:09 am

I, myself, have a similar question. My friend has a daughter and is on SSI. She lives with her parents and, until a few months ago, her b/f (the baby's father). Now they have broken up and she wants him out of her parent's apartment.
He is making her life miserable. He doesn't give her any money for the baby and takes most of her SSI money to pay HIS bills. Her father and b/f fight constantly and so do her and the b/f.
The apartment is not hers, it is her parents' and, when she tried to throw him out by calling the police on him, the police told her that, since he had lived there for over 90 days, that she could not legally throw him out. If she threw him out, he could call the police and have HER arrested! I can't believe this!
This man has physically assaulted her and has hit her daughter. He hasn't paid a dime in rent and now he has the right to live in a house where he doesn't pay a cent!
The entire house is fighting and the daughter is in the middle of it all and it is not good for her.
Does anyone have any info on what can be done to get him out of their house?
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Re: How Do I Get Him Out of My Apartment?

Postby Lilly » Fri Feb 28, 2003 9:12 pm

act fast-make it less than 30 days. HE has to prove that he has lived there for 30 days and in order to do that he has to provide rent receipts, etc. Mail has nothing to do with it-you have no control over what mail comes into your mailbox.
I say change the locks imediately even if it means paying a locksmith the weekend rate, just get it done.
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Re: How Do I Get Him Out of My Apartment?

Postby tiredsecy » Mon Mar 03, 2003 4:59 pm

When you say no, mean it and stand by it. Be unmoved. Be like a rock. I don't care what force he uses, whether his charm or his arm. If you cave, then he knows just to add more pressure for next time. You've already dealt with him before and yet you caved in again. Why? Police won't help you if you keep enabling the bastard and keep creating stress for yourself. Stop being a doormat for heaven's sake.

My two cents.
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Re: How Do I Get Him Out of My Apartment?

Postby tiredsecy » Mon Mar 03, 2003 5:02 pm

If you have less than 30 days, call the cops to have him removed. Return mail with "Return to Sender - NO one by that name lives here."

Press charges, file a report and an order of protection as well. and have him take his stuff with him or leave an address to send everything. NEVER EVER let him back into your place, not even to visit or "talk.". NEVER.

Change the lock to your apartment PRONTO. If he leaves stuff there, have a well muscled friend of yours wait with his stuff outside with a pair of cops, just to keep your friend company and just in case he gets stupid.

and stay away from him.
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