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Adult "child"

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Adult "child"

Postby GeorgiaJ12308 » Sun Mar 31, 2013 6:17 pm

This is in a city outside of NY city, and it is not in any locale where any rent regulation stuff is involved.

This is a question about "evicting" an adult chid from one's home, especially in view of the lack of any official records documenting this has her residence. I don't know about this stuff and I don't know how much of this information is needed for you to provide an answer.

Have an adult child who has been living with her boyfriend for several years. She was having surgery which prohibited smoking, actually even prohibited being near smoke (yes, it's a fact, I went to the seminar with her) so she asked if she could stay here for that time prior to surgery (side note - she and boyfriend smoke, he wasn't going to stop smoking), then because it involved abdominal surgery she didn't want her two dogs jumping on her after surgery, so the recuperation was here too. I had no problem with that.

As a parent for a daughter who would be out of work due to surgery for a couple months, I was not going to charge her rent, room, board, whatever you want to call it. There was no written agreement of any sort

She does have a part time job and did go back to work. But so much has broken down. She's back to smoking, she started drinking (I find big bottles of whiskey under the sofa). She misses work a lot. Clothes in a heap, here, there, everywhere. My front and back yard are being used as an ashtray. She hangs out with various guys now, spending weekends with another (not her "boyfriend"). She invites people over without asking, or she asks about a friend coming to visit for a few hours, and the next morning he's still there! If she's going out (like at night) she expects me to keep the door unlocked so she can get back in. Most of the time I'll bring the phone up to my room to have her call me so I can get up when she arrives home. Not she has brought in a twin bed for herself (so she's not sleeping/wearing out my sofa) and set it up in the basement utility room.

She has her bit of cash from her job for her "wants," and her sort of ex-boyfriend gets food stamps and buys her food (she had gastric surgery so eats like a bird). She does get medicaid.

I am retired (but young) and despite a decent pension, I still have somme need to get a part time job both for some extra money and to get out of the house for a bit. However, I just can't leave the house to go to a job (or even a volunteer activity) and leave her in the house.

I told her she has to leave, today is Easter and it's all ruined. She says that I have to go to court to actually evict her. She says that because she gets mail here, she can prove she lives here. (She got a baby shower invitation yesterday-I'm sure she told them my address for that reason, and she has gotten some junk mail here. But her state DMV ID has her "other" address as does Medicaid, as does the Election Board records, her employer has her "other address as well, the "other" address was used for filing taxes.

Being that there are no official records documenting her legal residence as my house, must I go through our local court to have her "evicted" from a residence address that is not a legal residence?

Otherwise, can someone point me to the New York State law that states that when an adult child asks to stay with a parent temporary for medical reasons, that the child can claim has a legal right to stay there while keeping a separate address on official records?

Sorry for the run on story, I don't know what to ask
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Postby TenantNet » Sun Mar 31, 2013 6:38 pm

In effect, you are her landlord. And yes, you do have to follow the law and go to court. However all the reasons cited by her aren't all that important in our opinion.

I don't know if the family status enters into this, but letting someone stay in your apartment without paying rent creates a licensee situation. A person who pays a portion of the rent would be an undertenant.

Situations like this can get sticky and its always better to work things out. While a licensee requires a ten-day notice, I would use a thirty-day notice to be safe, in writing, by certified mail. You might even have to resort to a process server.

To do it the right way, as you are acting in the capacity as a landlord, I would get some legal advice from a local attorney who knows the laws in your area.

Beyond that ... well, we're tenant.net, not landlord.net.
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Postby GeorgiaJ12308 » Sun Mar 31, 2013 9:22 pm

How am I her "landlord" when she has a legal address elsewhere?

This is not an apartment thing, I own my house.

Please tell me which section, chapter, whatever of NY state law bestows the title of "tenant" upon an adult child (with a legal address elsewhere) when TEMPORARILY staying with parent while recovering from surgery

TenantNet wrote:In effect, you are her landlord. And yes, you do have to follow the law and go to court. However all the reasons cited by her aren't all that important in our opinion.

I don't know if the family status enters into this, but letting someone stay in your apartment without paying rent creates a licensee situation. A person who pays a portion of the rent would be an undertenant.

Situations like this can get sticky and its always better to work things out. While a licensee requires a ten-day notice, I would use a thirty-day notice to be safe, in writing, by certified mail. You might even have to resort to a process server.

To do it the right way, as you are acting in the capacity as a landlord, I would get some legal advice from a local attorney who knows the laws in your area.

Beyond that ... well, we're tenant.net, not landlord.net.
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Location: a city in New York state

Postby TenantNet » Sun Mar 31, 2013 9:31 pm

I sense some anger here. That's not the way to deal with this. You must follow the law or possibly face legal consequences yourself.

"Legal address elsewhere" - you didn't state that in the beginning. But what is a "legal address?" That doesn't enter into things here. Has she lived there 30 days or more with your permission? Then she's a licensee or undertenant. We advise you to follow the law.

And we advise you to consult with a lawyer. Remember, this is Tenant.Net.
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Postby GeorgiaJ12308 » Mon Apr 01, 2013 12:07 am

I'm positive that in the first message, I referred to a legal/official address elsewhere.

Perhaps you didn't read it. Despite that she came to stay TEMPORARILY for prep and recupration related to surgery, she NEVER changed her official LEGAL PERMANENT DOCUMENTED address.

Within the past month, she had to fill out recertification forms for state/county Dept of Social Services (medicaid, and maybe some food stamps) - the recertification notice was sent to her at address she shares with her boyfriend, and when she did the recert paperwork, she wrote her official legal documented address as the address she shares with her boyfriend which is not my address.

When she filed her tax return, she also used as her address the address she shares with her boyfriend. Nothing iin relation to living one place and getting mail elsewhere.

Within the past two weeks, she applied for a NY State DMV (non-driver) I.D. (her last one expired long ago). In that application, and I stress -- JUST TWO WEEKS AGO -- she filed the forms stating that her OFFICIAL LEGAL address is the address of her and her boyfriend's. The state DMV MANDATES that one use their official legal address for DMV. She received her ID at her and her boyfirend's address, NOT at my house! (A point to note that is not directly related, but points to the DMV address as the one sole official legal address of a person---perhaps you have read last week that New York State's STAR school tax exemption has been abused whether intentionally or not, but homeonwers use as their proof of official legal address and residence their state driver's license (or non-driver I.D.).

She has NOT told her employer, nor doctors, nor the Board of Elections that her address is my house.

Bottom line, she has reported, and CONTINUES to report her OFFICIAL LEGAL RESIDENCE ADDRESS as her & her boyfriend's address for EVERTYHING - state DMV, Dept Social Service, IRS, NY State Tax, Board of Elections, employer, union, doctors.

So, because she continues - to this day - reporting her & her boyfriend's apartment ahs her official legal reidence address, please tell me why I have to spend money and hire an attorney to "evict" her form an residence that she, herself, states in legal documents is not her residence?

I know you are a "tenant" advocate, but you are telling me the law says I have to evict her. WHAT LAW??????????

You say there is this law, but can you please tell me what chapter, section I can find it. I mean, if you claim there is a law, then you would know what it is, wouldn't you?


TenantNet wrote:I sense some anger here. That's not the way to deal with this. You must follow the law or possibly face legal consequences yourself.

"Legal address elsewhere" - you didn't state that in the beginning. But what is a "legal address?" That doesn't enter into things here. Has she lived there 30 days or more with your permission? Then she's a licensee or undertenant. We advise you to follow the law.

And we advise you to consult with a lawyer. Remember, this is Tenant.Net.
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Postby TenantNet » Mon Apr 01, 2013 7:37 am

Look, we are not your judge, so you don't have to prove anything to us. And we don't need or want every detail of your (or her) life. As for which law, start with the NYS Real Property Law and the NYS Real Property Actions and Proceedings Law.

In general, a person residing in an apartment for more than 30 days with or without a lease might have tenancy or occupancy rights.

And in NYC, if you illegally evict someone without a court order you can end up in jail, being a criminal offense. Outside NYC you could still face civil charges. Bottom line is a) don't take the law into your own hands, and b) get good legal consultation that will tell you the right way how to do things, not what you want to hear.

This is a family squabble. Something you need to work out with your daughter. If that does not work, then talk to a lawyer.
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Postby ronin » Tue Apr 02, 2013 12:45 am

You can also reach out for any legal services for seniors. This sounds a lot like Elder Abuse. Your daughter is slowly bullying you around and ignoring all your rules.

If you have other adult children they may help you also. Another option for you is to go to criminal court to complain about her false pretenses and to request and order of protection (particularly regarding her male guests in your house at all hours).

You are her Landlord under L&T law, but you are her parent under every other law. She is in your living space, you did not rent out a separate space. Her license is up- time to go. Under L&T law she gets a notice before having to leave. Also, see if your city has any other rules about evicting licensees after they've been given that notice- I think for licensees it is only 10 days. But double check with a lawyer in your area.

But do please calm down, evictions are not our forte in this forum.
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